FGES Tour #21: Chico, California

 Well folks, this is the last stop on the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts USA Tour. I have returned to my once and future home.

Probably the most famous landmark in Chico is the Bidwell Mansion...

John Bidwell was a general in the army, a politician, and ran for president on the Prohibition Ticket. He basically founded the city of Chico (ignoring, of course, the Mechoopda Indians who had lived here for hundreds of years).

Bidwell donated land for a huge and beautiful public park, named after him of course. He also gave land next to the mansion to establish a teachers college, which later became California State University, Chico. Dozens and dozens of businesses have "Bidwell" in their names, even though he had nothing to do with them, nor did he have any children to carry on the name.

He and his wife Annie are generally considered heroes by locals, but there are documented instances of oppression and attempted cultural and physical genocide.

So, while John Bidwell may not have personally killed any Native Americans, he materially supported people who did. He abetted and benefited from the enslavement, murder and removal of the native population. So fuck him.

But getting back to Bidwell Mansion, when I departed Chico in November, the mansion looked like the top picture. By the time I returned, it looked like this...

On the night of December 11th, 2024, the mansion burned. Investigators deemed it arson. A suspect has been arrested and has pleaded no contest. No one was harmed in the blaze.

If my irreverent attitude shocks you, what can I say but "fuck the Bidwells".

Sorry/not sorry to end the tour on a bitter note. Keep your eyes peeled for my official FGES caption contest. Cheers.

FGES Tour #20: West Wendover, Nevada

 

As you approach the eastern border of Nevada 

on Interstate 80 in Utah, you pass through a small town called Wendover. As soon as you cross over the border into Nevada, you find yourself in the much larger town of West Wendover. Being Nevada, all sorts of sinful activities are encouraged, especially gambling.

"Wendover Will" welcomes travelers to West Wendover. I parked somewhat illegally in order to try to take a selfie with Will, but the lighting and the angle were not conducive to photographic pursuits, as you can see from my solo attempt...

I was somewhat startled when a man in a fire department pickup stopped next to my car and got out. I was worried I was in trouble for my choice of parking spots. No, he had seen me struggling and offered to take the photo for me. Nice firefighter.

FGES Tour #19: Ruther Glen, Virginia

 

Virginia is for lovers, they say, and who doesn't love themselves some Freakin' Green Elf Shorts?

FGES Tour #18: Louisville, Kentucky

 

Here I am... can you guess where? I've already revealed that I am in Louisville, Kentucky. But where in Louisville, exactly? The cognoscenti may recognize my tattoo as the symbol of the father of Gonzo Journalism - Hunter S. Thompson, author of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", and "Hell's Angels". So what's with the house in the background? Why, it is none other than the childhood home of HST. 

FGES Tour #17: Haulover Nude Beach, Miami Beach, Florida

 When in Rome...

The temperature was in the mid-70s, there was a stiff breeze, the water was cool, and a lovely jade color.

And yes, I really was nude. If you require proof, let me know. No perverts. Okay... perverts.

FGES TOUR #16: Mar-a-Lago

 

I know in the previous post I said I had something special for Drumpf. Well, this isn't that special, but I thought it deserved its own post, rather than being lumped in with the other Florida locations. 

I was able to drive right past the gate, but this end of the bridge in the background was the closest I could park. I could have walked across the bridge I suppose, but there were so many cops around (and one lone pedestrian on my end of the bridge whose whole vibe screamed "undercover Secret Service") that I decided discretion was the better part of valor.

And remember, no droning. Drumpf hates competition. 

FGES TOUR #15: Florida (various locations)

 

After New Orleans, I headed to Florida. They have a lovely Welcome Center near Pensacola, except for the the name of the current governor under the welcome sign. And what's with "the FREE state of Florida"? Weird. 

I drove down the Gulf of Mexico coast for awhile. The second picture was taken in Mexico Beach. Sorry about the lens flare. Also, no, I didn't shrink. The beach chair is oversized, presumably so you could get a whole bunch of people in the shot.

Third picture is at the lowest point (geographically) in the continental United States. The true nadir is when the majority of us elected Tr*mp a second time. Again, sorry for the glare.

As a teenager, I traveled to Point Barrow, Alaska, which is the northernmost point, not just of the USA, but all of North America, that you can drive to on interconnected roadways. So, I've got that going for me, and that's nice.

And speaking of 45/47, I've got a special post in... honor (?) of him coming up next.