Monday, March 31, 2014

Funny Faces Dept.




These three comical robotic faces are all in the company shuttle van.

What Would Jesus Do (About Boobs)?


In case I haven't mentioned it before, I drive a bus. There are several of these advertisements for a local radio station in various bus stop shelters. If that looks like a large pair of breasts behind the the word "radio", that's because that is exactly what they are. The first time I saw this ad, as I flashed by in my bus (because no one was waiting at that shelter), I thought that the breasts were bare. A subsequent passing seemed to bear out that the breasts were indeed covered by something. Finally, when no one was on board, I stopped at one of the shelters and gave the poster a good...long...look - you know, just to make sure.

So basically what we have here is what appears to be a Warholish coloring of a photograph of a woman's torso clad in a bikini top. There are also some posters that feature a man's bare chest. Now using flesh - especially boobs - to sell something is nothing new. What's confusing about this particular ad campaign is that these two radio stations (AM 930 and FM 104.5) are CHRISTIAN! What is up with that?

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

LEETcense Plate Dept. More Ess Words


I can't really think of a satisfactory joke for "shy bite", but it's pretty cute sounding, isn't it?


Many people assume that "shia gas" is when the actor LaBeouf flatuates, which is true in the very strictest sense of the term. Actually, it refers to the noxious fumes emitted by the former child star in general.

His hair grease alone could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

LEETcense Plate Dept. Taxes and Asses


This is a real, random LEETcense plate I saw, and I thought it was very appropriate to this time, when many of us are currently struggling, or planning on struggling, to file our taxes. TAX U ASS - that's what the gubmint does, alright.


This one was from Georgia, which apparently only still uses six characters instead of California's seven. I guess this one is funny or not depending on whether you would pronounce "lyp" as "lipe" or "lip". But it's still got "ASS" in it, and that's always funny.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

LEETcense Plates Dept.: Ess Words


SUDN ABS, or "SUDDEN ABS:"


Of course, you don't have to take my word for it:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail77.html
They really will be all up ons
Moving right along:


SATN BAG - on the assumption that the missing letter between the T and the N is a sort of schwa sound, what you get depends on whether the first A is short...


...or long:

And finally...


SAK KISS...I'm just going to leave that one right there.

It Wants Your Soul


This is from a simple child's toy - a bubble wand in the shape of a butterfly. I'm sure it would have made some interesting bubbles, although certainly not in the shape of a butterfly. We'll never know, because the cheap thing snapped off of its wand on the first wave before it could ever be dipped in the soap.

Just as well, though, because if by chance that face had been rendered in three dimensions, it would have been terrifying:


I think whoever designed this must have had a run-in with the Mothman as a youth. Look at that mouth!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Eyes Have It


I've mentioned before that a local bar in an old building has funny pictures painted on some of the ground floor windows that have been covered up. This one, if you can't tell, is supposed to be Tom Cruise from his Top Gun days (kind of stunning to realize that was now 28 years ago - the guy has staying power). Recently someone decided to enhance the painting with googly eyes.