Monday, June 3, 2019

LEETcense Plates Rise Again

I haven't done one of these in a long time, and to be honest, I thought maybe I was done with them, but this one I saw today was too good to ignore.

Men, if you shave your sack, you'll have:

(BALDBAG, for those of you unfamiliar with LEET.)

Saturday, March 30, 2019

From the Vault, Pt. 2: The Idiots Aboard - Obligatory First Post

Continuing in my possibly misguided plan of bringing all the old posts from my other blogs into this one, I present the first post from my short-lived blog about being a bus driver. Rather than edit the original, I'll just admit that contrary to the last sentence in the third paragraph, I did not establish a biography tab for some of the more infamous passengers.

Also, my offer of accepting bus stories from readers still stands.

Originally published May 11, 2013:

Hello, and welcome to "The Idiots Aboard". I am a transit bus driver in a mid-sized California college town. A necessary part of the job, of course, includes dealing with individuals who can best be described as "bus people".

The majority of passengers on a bus are not "bus people". Anyone who has ridden on or worked in public transportation will know the kind of people I mean. For you lucky public transportation innocents, "bus people" are...well...different. Mainly, if it weren't for public transit, these folks would be walking or driving their Rascal scooters everywhere. But, you'll see.

In this blog I will try to entertain with stories of some of the more interesting exploits of these folks. Names and actionable identifying information will be changed or omitted. Mine is a fairly small transit system, so many of the characters are recurring. Therefore, I'll probably establish a tab with their bios so you can keep them straight.

I hope you enjoy this. And if you're a public transit driver, please submit your own stories for possible publication in the comments or at

Gnome Sweet Home

Thinking of Princess, where ever he is.

Friday, March 29, 2019

Celebrate Respectfully

Happy Cesar Chavez Day weekend, everyone. While I shouldn't gainsay anyone's approach to celebrating the life of a great man, I have to say that getting blasted on the day of birth of a man who fasted in support of his people would be like slurping Jello shots out of a stripper's belly button to celebrate Gandhi's birthday. At least keep in mind that wearing a sombrero, sarape/poncho and/or droopy moustache (or any combination thereof) on March 31 will likely get you punched in the head by yours truly.