FGES TOUR #9 : Albuquerque, New Mexico

 

Fans of "Breaking Bad" and "Better Call Saul" may recognize the location in the first three images. The Dog House is a local institution in its own right, and curiously, nowhere on the premises does it allude to its being used in the shows.

For the last picture I visited the Breaking Bad Museum and Store. The museum is usually free to the public, but on this day they were doing a fundraiser for a local animal shelter. For a minimum 5 dollar donation, you could visit the museum and have your picture taken with "Heisen-Claus". He's a real human lookalike, not a dummy. If I had known in advance, I would have taken the Shorts with me.

The museum, though small, is chock-a-block with costumes, props, signed photos of the series' actors, etc. A splendid time was had by me.

FGES TOUR #8: Meteor Crater, Arizona

 

It may look like just a big hole in the ground, but the science and history behind it are fascinating. Wonderful visitor center.

FGES TOUR #7: Las Vegas, Nevada

 What happens in Vegas (usually) stays in Vegas, but not the Freakin Green Elf Shorts! This is due to the little known fact that the famous sign is actually in Paradise, Nevada. 

FGES TOUR #6: Bat Country, Barstow, California

 Despite literary advice to the contrary, the Shorts did indeed stop in bat country. No mishaps occurred. 

FGES TOUR #5: "Bliss" Hill, Sonoma County, California

 Upon leaving Sebastopol, I made my way back to the Sacramento Valley. I chose a route that would take me by what could arguably be called the most famous hill on the world. 

I'm speaking, of course, of "Bliss Hill", which was the default desktop wallpaper for Windows XP, as seen here...

For a long time, I suspected that I knew where the picture had been taken, haven driven by the spot on at least one occasion. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw an article about it.

You wouldn't recognize it today. It is now covered with grape vines. There is nothing near the site announcing its fame. This is probably a good thing; there is only one spot near the location where it is safe to pull off the road, but it is a private driveway. Even then, walking to the spot is risky. There is no margin along the roadway, which is a very busy state highway. 

But I preserved, and now proudly present the Freakin Green Elf Shorts at Bliss Hill, Sonoma County, California. 

FGES TOUR #4: Sebastopol, California

I paid a visit to my dear old friend Sandy in Sebastopol, California. Sandy showed me the Florence Avenue Art Community. Well-known recycled materials sculptor Paul Amiot lives on the street, and many front yards for a few blocks in both directions feature his works.

My favorite piece was "Crow Bar", seen here with me and the Shorts: 

And here are some better shots of the piece: 

Now I present a random sampling of some of the many other works by the artist: 

FGES TOUR #3: Mount Shasta, California

Mount Shasta, California. I know. It's hard to see. Cheap Android phone, clouds, etc. Still.

FGES Tour #2: Portland, Oregon

On the second day I stopped in Portland, Oregon to take an actual selfie with the only "iconic" (a vastly overused word, IMO) landmark in the city that has a chance of being recognized by people who've never been there: the "Portland, Oregon" White Stag Sign. They felt they had to put the name right on it so people would know where they were. 

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts U.S.A.Tour: #1: Seattle, Washington

 I was living in Portland, Oregon when I won the FGES contest, but I had moved to Seattle, Washington by the time they arrived (not complaining, Janie!).

I retired in August, and left Seattle on Halloween 2024. My intention is to travel the country in my VW EuroVan camper. I plan to try to take pictures of me wearing the Shorts at interesting and famous places I visit in my journey. 

I was hoping to get a picture of me and the Shorts in front of the Seattle skyline, but didn't get good enough weather. So here's a bad fake: 

The only way I can take a selfie that shows me wearing the FGES is by putting them on my head. The first time I did, the smell made me pass out, and I bumped my head.

I began to build up my resistance to the FGES by subjecting myself to increasingly longer exposures to the fumes, much like Wesley and the iocaine powder. After a few weeks I was able to tolerate them for up to 10 minutes, long enough to take a selfie.

Keep your dial glued to this blog for more entries in the FGES U.S.A. Tour.

Another Update Regarding the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

 Hey everyone! I have finally updated the Continuing History of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts to bring it up to the time of this post. I had not updated it since Scarlet last had them. The next two winners of the caption competition (Mistress Borghese and Janie Junebug) are now included, as well as the current winner... me. There is also a bonus photo of past winner Hegre (Angry Chimp) with the Shorts that was discovered by Mr. Inexplicable DeVice while doing research for his outstanding world map of the travels of the FGES (also updated). There is news of the status of our long-lost friend Princess (as of December 2022), who revealed what happened to the original FGES. Enjoy!