Wednesday, August 22, 2018

The Freakin' Winner Is...


Well, this is it: the moment you've all been waiting for - some of you for over five years! The announcement of the winner of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.

It wasn't easy picking a winner - they're were so many worthy contenders. In fact, just to be thorough, there was a total of 10 people submitting captions, with 16 captions in all. Of those 10 people, Inexplicable DeVice inexplicably asked that his three captions not be considered for the win. This brought the total number of eligible captions down to 12. Too bad for IDV, for he had some darned good ones, but it made my job a little bit easier.

In case any of you are checking the contest post, counting entrants and coming up short, that's because the entry of one contestant - Adem K. - wound up on a subsequent post because I stupidly made a rather confusing link to it.

Before I announce the winner, it's worth noting some of the more outstanding entries (and a non-official entry). I'm not doing any "second-place" or "runners-up" or any such nonsense. These are just some I particularly liked and thought they bore repeating, so let's call them "Honorable Mentions":


Past winner and fan-fave...


... Eroswings wowed me with four - count 'em - FOUR captions. The one I liked best was a reworking of the Mamas and the Papas' classic:

California Dreaming - The FGES remix

All the stains are brown (all the stains are brown)
And the lining is grey (and the lining is grey)
I've been for a walk (I've been for a walk)
In these Shorts all day (In these Shorts all day)
I'd be safe and warm (I'd be safe and warm)
If I was in L.A. (if I was in L.A.)
California dreamin' (California dreamin')
Do these Shorts make me gay?

Inexplicable DeVice:

Former two-time winner of the dreaded pantaloons...

... Inexplicable DeVice, submitted some boffo captions, but recused himself from the proceedings. My favorite was:

"The fumes from the FGES having gone to his head, Rimpy gets completely the wrong end of the stick when advised to rub on some bronzer."

But now, without further ado, I present the winner of TFGES Competition. Maestro, if you please...

It's Alpo Jones!

The part of Alpo Jones is being played by Stephanie Patterson

Alpo Jones' winning caption was short, succinct and tickled me pink:

"Try online dating," they said. "Everyone's doing it," they said. "What've you got to lose?" they said.

Congratulations, Alpo Jones.

That's it. Thanks to all who entered or just followed along. It's been fun. I can't wait to see what AJ does with the FGES.

Sunday, August 19, 2018

FGES Competition Results Pending

Hi y'all. I know I said I wanted to have the announcement of a winner by now. We are SO close! However, there has been a slight snag. I'm hoping to have this cleared up ASAP. Stay tuned.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

The FGES Polls Are Now Closed

The deadline for entering captions for the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Competition has now passed. Thanks to all who entered, read and supported the contest. Special thanks are due to The Mistress and Inexplicable Device, who have been very on the ball with passing along updates about the contest.

There were a lot of worthy entries, and I have my work cut out for me in choosing a winner. I'm busy with work for the rest of this work, but I hope to have the announcement of a winner posted by Sunday (Aug. 19) evening.

Long live the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Deadline Looms

It seems hard to believe that almost a month has passed since this magical moment. Just a reminder that the deadline for submitting your captions for the chance to win the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts is fast approaching - 11:59:59 PM, Wednesday, August 15th, 2018, to be exact. Don't delay! If you've been ruminating over some boffo caption ideas, don't wait much longer and blow your chance for internet stardom and polyester glory. Just get on over HERE and submit!